Wind turbines likely cause of cancer!

Beat, beat, beat, beat....

In a hotly contested abstract published in Enquirer Med Today (EMT), Dr. Samuel Mathondis gave strident warning to a new form of cancer which he has named tubinmelitis ditis. In the abstract Dr. Mathondis cites literally 'hours of research' into the phenomenon of 'cyclic resonance caused by the immense blades impinging air molecules'. According to the almost Nobel prize winning doctor, 'this disruption of the local atmosphere establishes standing waves of a very specific frequency that can reach the lungs of people who smokes perhaps hundreds of miles away.' He paused to take a drag on his pipe and continued. 'Vell, don't you see? Those waves are able to set up harmonic sub-tones that cause the inhaled smoke particles to be driven much much deeper into lung tissues than would normally occur. A process that has gone on for decades in cities all around America and which is now finally coming to evil fruition for millions of smoking unfortunates, according to some sources in Washington.

Sadly, EMT could neither confirm of deny these additional allegations as Dr. Mathondis recently suffered a massive coronary stroke and is currently on life support systems at an undisclosed hospital that ironically, we have have been told, is close to a turbine wind field.

Note: This insanity was supposed to be published at http://forsythkid.blogspot.com/, but the author was too lazy to do that.

Fair Board nixes Fair beer garden!

Come on down...

Taney County MO - Apparently, a member of the Taney County Fair Board (Donald Helms) went before the Board of Aldermen last Monday, March 20th to apply for a temporary permit to sell beer in a beer garden area during this year's coming Taney County Fair. The answer was a resounding no! The Forsyth Board of Aldermen, acting unanimously, cited numerous reasons for turning down the request, indicating that such a move would be 'going down the wrong path,' to put it into the words of Alderwoman Cheryl Altis. Mayor Eddie Coleman was also '100 percent against it' saying that he feared such a permit might serve to dissuade more people than it would attract.

Personally, I'm all in favor of the curtailing of certain 'non-desirable' elements like out of control drinking and would even be in favor of taking more drastic measures to insure the continued purity and attractiveness of the event. Perhaps in the future, the board would also consider the banning of smokers as these people might also 'send the wrong sort of signal to our youth'. (Just imagine a smoke free Fair and how much fun that would be for everyone). Also, there is the health and visual questions of having too many obese individuals strolling around as living advertisements to our youths to perhaps 'overindulge' and to 'eat in an irresponsible manner'. Perhaps they should consider banning those people too, in order that our future Fairs take on a more modernistic and even Aryan appearance...

Now for me personally, I don't plan to attend this year, as I really dislike the Shoals Bend location for many and sundry reasons. But, that's just me! [For the record, the author regularity swills beers, used to smoke heavily and is as fat as a tick].